SMALL GEMS
Rescue Red’s adventure has come to an end.
It all started on December 1st when Rescue Red was taken captive from, the City of Lake Geneva’s Fire Department. The fire department became worried as ‘pictures of him with undesirables, vagrants and local hooligans began surfacing on social media. We have additional concerns for his health and wellbeing as he cannot survive on coffee and donuts alone.’
Rescue Red was seen putting the Fire Department on Santa’s naughty list and the police department on his nice list. At this point, there was no choice but to turn the situation over to the Walworth County Sheriff’s Department. The Sheriff’s Department called Rescue Red’s cousin in to assist with the investigation ‘but based off the family history of shenanigans and chaos, we’re unsure how much help he will be.’ Then a clue arrived in the mail with an elf-sized police uniform with the fire department commenting ‘No ransom demand has been made but this did appear in our mailbox this morning. We believe he is being brainwashed.’ With the help of the Sherrif’s K9 unit Klaas, Arie, and Benz were able to bring Rescue Red back home to the Lake Geneva Fire Department. The suspects were very secretive and may have had an internal accomplice.
The fire department released a statement after his return. ‘So, Rescue Red has been back for about a week. The Walworth County Sheriff’s Office did their best to find his abductor but the suspects were very secretive and may have had an internal accomplice. Since his return, Red has had an insatiable appetite for donuts and sweets. He says that all his captors fed him. He is being treated for high blood sugar. The only other thing he can remember is his captors saying they should have become firefighters too. A phrase commonly heard around the City of Lake Geneva Police Department. Red has asked to return to the scene of the crime, the Geneva Lake Museum. Maybe he will remember some more details.’ Funny it took 6 days after Red’s return for the City of Lake Geneva Police Department to release their “findings”.
More Interesting is how the Lake Geneva PD needed to go two states away to find an unbiased impartial party. Either they don’t have many friends, which I would believe because they drive around alone all day (Chief Gritzner excluded) or they dazzled Chief McDonagh with their stories of police heroism and bravery during the Great Winterfest Parking Lot Collapse of 2016. Notice nowhere in their statement did it say body cam was reviewed? How convenient. As for Red joining them of his own volition, we don’t know. But Red has been frequently asking “Am I being detained?” anytime he sees a cop and the first thing he asks to watch is “Ladder 49”. We agree that “Backdraft” is overrated. We can completely understand why he only spent 30 minutes with them, doesn’t take long to coerce someone to vote a certain way.
As for switching sides, we’ve heard it’s going the other way. RED is doing some serious recruiting.
The iconic blue mailboxes from the United States Postal Service are getting a makeover.
The U.S. Postal Service is cracking down on mail theft this holiday season and beyond by installing 12,000 advanced security blue collection boxes in high-risk areas around the country. The iconic blue mail collection boxes are a main target of thieves, comprising a significant portion of the more than 25,000 mail theft incidents that occurred in the first half of the 2023 fiscal year. As of October, 10,000 of the advanced security collection boxes have been installed.
The new collection boxes do not look any different on the outside from the old boxes but are made to keep mail and packages safe from some different attacks. Additionally, scammers have found a way to target customers through text messages. The scam text messages may read: “A USPS delivery is awaiting your action,” The updates, which must be requested by the recipient, are for a specific package only, and signing up once does not sign up the customer for future mail notifications, he said, adding that the Postal Service does not send links via text messages. Eventually, more mailboxes will be updated with the newer technology as the post office is always looking at ways to make mail a safer option for sending packages and mail.
