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THE PHANTOM OF THE BAKER HOUSE

It’s worth exactly what someone will pay for it. The Baker House proved that on Friday afternoon, by holding a public auction and pegging the reserve amount at one point nine million dollars. What if you gave a party and only a dozen people showed up? It would still be a party…but. That’s how many showed up for the auction. The auctioneer took the price all the way down to one million, in order to try to get someone, anyone, to bid. Nobody bid. Nobody bid, so the auctioneer closed the thing down in obvious frustration. The owner of the Baker House remains a bit of a mystery, and he has sort of come to resemble the Phantom, but instead of the Opera in Paris, of the Baker House in Lake Geneva. He’s mostly seen passing by upper story windows with only half his face visible. Does he have another half a face? Many say he does, although he apparently lost a bit of it with the results of his auction thudding down onto the first story dining room of the house, like a giant but invisible cotton ball. The rumor mill began generating stuff immediately following the end of the auction. There was a low-price offer following that closure (that rumor was true) and more offers might have been made (a man named Allan Miller is claimed to have made an offer and had it accepted!). Also, on Sunday there was another rumor that the place might re-open in its old form, with the Phantom still present roaming the upper bedrooms, maybe more like in the movie Psycho rather than the Phantom of the Opera. What’s probably really needed for the place to make it into the annals of Geneva Lake long-term history is some kind of musical score, written and played on outside speakers, as people walk and drive by: “Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation…darkness wakes and stirs imagination…silently the senses abandon their defenses…helpless to resist the notes I write, for I compose the music of the night.”

The Geneva Shore Report owes an apology to the Baker House no matter what, with respect to when it is closing…if it ever closes.  The GSR reported, erroneously in error, and stupidly in density, based upon bad information (an employee), that the Baker House was closing right after the ending of the public auction to sell it.  But, apparently and allegedly, since the auction was closed with no bids, and no offers were accepted right after that closure (unless Allan is real and got the place), the Baker House intended and intends, to stay open until December 30th. That hard data has been confirmed by The Phantom of Baker House himself.  So, since they are still serving over there, and if you want to have a wonderful dinner (Wednesday through Sunday, allegedly), between now and the end of December, board this “House of the Seven Gables” representation of the Titanic steamer (figuratively), then don’t miss out. Get over there.  Just make sure to get off in time.  Rumor has it that the Deguello may be played by a Spanish guitarist, non-stop, for twenty-four hours a day just outside, until the place closes.  If it closes.  If it goes down, or if it doesn’t go down, and then is resurfaced from the deep of wherever it is or may be.

 

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