Little Gems

The magical deaf theater.
There’s already a magic theater in Lake Geneva that has become quite successful. Now a second new theater comes in, riding on their coat tails, and does so in hopes of owning a piece of those tails. The city council of Lake Geneva voted unanimously (with one abstention) to allow the new theater, because who can vote against anything for the deaf, anyway? Actually, the new theater will not be dedicated to serving deaf people, exclusively. The new owner, the magician, is deaf. The audience he hopes to garner is the same one that the other theater already has. The interesting part of the story is all about council member ‘Cordite’ Kordus. He abstained again because of his ties to the new place. Usually, such abstentions are done because of deep financial ties to whatever might be a return benefit to what is being voted on. Alderman Kordus is not saying what his involvement with the new deaf magic theater, or he is but nobody can hear him.


One of the Geneva Shore Report’s favorite subjects.
Cell phone coverage. After the series the GSR has run over the past few years about the major cell phone companies ripping off the Geneva Lake communities, when it came to decent coverage and service, finally there is a kickback. Oh, other than the kickback that already came in when U.S. Cellular broke down and turned their inactive towers on and took over a huge chunk of all of the country’s rural cell phone areas. The GSR received a letter from a supposed cell phone engineer, which was anonymous. It was to have been published in this issue in full, but it was too long, and was filled with many distortions. The letter intimated that the GSR stated that the federal government financed all cell phone towers. That is not true. The federal government appropriated hundreds of millions to build cell phone towers in unprofitable rural areas only. The ‘engineer’ claimed that the two biggest carriers drop calls all the time around the lake because they have such large numbers of customers, whereas U.S. Cellular has few. The writer of the letter faulted the testing equipment the GSR used to gauge output of all towers in the area. For transmissions of cell microwaves he or she might have an argument, but for measuring the electric power being delivered to the towers there was no equipment. GSR X-Files investigators just went to the base of all the towers and read the electric meters each one has. Those meters used to be right on the fence of the property that the tower rose out of. Most are now enclosed and hidden. The writer supposedly found only a few areas around the lake that his or her own calls consistently got dropped. This first defense of the cellular industry now comes in anonymously, and filled with so much poppycock.

The GSR does have a suggestion for the engineer, however. Go dump your current provider and go with U.S. Cellular. Matt, over near the Pig at the north end of town, will hook you up. No more dropped calls or zero bars. Every phone and computer instrument of the GSR is now using U.S. Cellular and there are no dropped calls. Ever. Because their towers are on. The difference between AT&T, Verizon and T-Mobile in comparison to U.S. Cellular is simple to comprehend. Those three offer what they themselves have defined as “adequate” service. U.S. Cellular provides “great” service. You decide which one of those words is what you want or need.

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