Little Gems

To live and die in the Elkhorn.
It’s called Lakeland Hospital. Some people out in the rural areas surrounding it describe it as the place you go to die. Sunday morning of last week might not have been a typical weekend day out at that facility. One of the Geneva Shore Report X-Files investigators was out there to visit a notable Lake Geneva resident staying in a room there. With the exception of the Emergency Room staff, the investigator could find only one other human being on the entire first floor. No one in admissions or at information, and the gift shop, flower shop and snack shops were all closed. The one person found, after fifteen minutes of traveling through all the strange corridors of that facility, was a second cook behind the counter in the cafeteria. That was it.

A patient/day rate in that place runs about five thousand dollars, without drugs, special care or doctor’s charges. How did rural medicine reach this low level of care? How is it possible that the local residents would tolerate such a low level of care? And what of the profits being hauled in by the parent company, Aurora Health Care? That operation used to be synonymous with quality care, albeit at a high cost. How about no care at a high cost? It is time for the forces of true healing to gather and demand better service, unless, of course, the public feels that a ‘holding place’ is required before mortuary services can be provided.


Tunes died.
A whole lot of people are missing her. She used to be both an employee and a frequent guest at Hogs and Kisses and Fat Cats. Those two businesses are located directly across the street from one another, and it’s not uncommon for people visiting one place to cross the street and visit the other. Tunes often made that trip until the night she died, out in the street. Or did she? A post mortem reports that she died from a brain aneurism suffered when she experienced severe head trauma. That was the first report, anyway. Later reports had her dying from damage to her neck, when her fourth and fifth vertebrae were broken. She was rumored to have been inside Fat Cats when she fell, and then got up and complained of her neck hurting. She then allegedly went outside for some air, where she then expired on the sidewalk. Was she crossing the street and fell? Was she in Fat Cats, took a fall, and then was escorted outside to avoid liability? What happens outside of bars everywhere after midnight can be almost anything anyone wants to say, because there are very few people outside drinking establishment at that hour that are not heavily influenced by what they’ve been drinking. It is likely that the exact facts of Tunes passing will remain as much of a mystery as the reasons for that guy from Popeye’s (Chicken Rick) committing suicide back in 2012.


The aliens of Price Park.
On the northeast side of Elkhorn there sits a little park. There’s not much of a point to the park other than it does have a small shelter, and some picnic tables…and aliens. The Geneva Shore Report was out and about covering the fall change of leaves and vegetation in the area when the aliens, unaware that the GSR drone hovered about four hundred feet overhead, came forth to grouse and run helter-skelter about the grassy fields. There are experts in the hazy nebulous field of UFO studies that call the kinds of alien vehicles spotted “rods.” According to MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) “experts,” those vehicles, or creatures, resemble fast moving objects that look like sky fish, or serpents, or sometimes rods of light. Hence their name. The GSR drone is being sent aloft daily to see if more of these strange apparitions can be found, and their cause and origin determined.

Rods, Aliens or What in Price Park

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