Afloat atop a sea of oil. Or maybe just a lake slightly skimmed over with cooking fat. Where’s the cooking oil coming from? From overflow and sloppy handling of transfer cans in Lake Geneva’s back alleys, for certain, but there might be a deeper secret lurking under all the liquid lard. Further up into the very heartland of Lake Geneva several restaurants with French-fryers lurk on Main Street and above. What of their liquid fat wastes? What happens when their grease is either mistakenly or deliberately inserted into the unguarded and unobserved storm sewer system? Nobody really knows. Only the people who run boat operations down near where the current Chamber building and the bridge have any idea of the effects. Those businesses have to regularly pull their boats out, and clean the hardened grease from their hulls. That should not be happening in Lake Geneva.

Lake Geneva Vegetable Oil Mess

Grease you ask? What grease? this is one of the containers specially dedicated to collecting the grease from downtown restaurants. Not a pretty sight. The five gallon can is for when the grease dumpster is full. The dark spot on the ground is from spillage, of course. The storm drain running directly into Lake Geneva is located only fifteen feet away and it’s downhill to get to it.

2nd Story Torhorst, Lake Geneva’s attorney selected by those who want an attorney who knows something about trespassing, took up the cause of the poor downtrodden Geneva Inn, and sent a steamingly hot letter to Dick Malmin, a neighbor disagreeing with the coming commercial rezone at the water’s edge.

Mr. Malmin’s attorney won’t let the Geneva Shore Report publish the letter in its entirety because the phrases 2nd Story put together to threaten Mr. Malmin with were simply too funny for publication. Excerpts of the letter were read, considered and then sent off to Mr. Colbert for use in his opening sketch as he takes over a late night talk show. It appears that Mr. Malmin has been “consorting,” “embarking,” “inhabiting” and performing other unnatural “trespassorial” acts next door to the Geneva Inn property. Following reception of this torrid 2nd Story letter, Mr. Malmin put up yard signs indicating that the Geneva Inn was threatening him and the lake itself. One wonders when driving by both properties (Mr. Malmin’s and the Geneva Inn) on South Lake Shore Drive, whether these two unhappy neighbors have ever watched the movie called “Grumpy Old Men.”  What 2nd Story job is this uncommonly common attorney going to participate in next? Mr. Malmin has purchased locks for all his second story windows, and contracted with ADT security to hopefully prevent late night visits from Mr. Torhorst, or any of his many minions.

Really? Seriously? Is the Geneva Shore Report the only one?
Is the GSR the only entity that wants to pass an ordinance and drive all the city’s many gas stations right out of town? Let them go out to the country, or to somewhere that rhymes with “well.” Let them sit out there on old farmland. Oh, yes. Everyone would have to go out of town for gasoline, but at least they wouldn’t infect the town’s social order. The recent increases in gas prices by over twenty-five percent for no damned good reason (oh please, one of their refinery’s went down!) justify such actions. These nasty business people have monopolized an industry, consistently lied about that monopoly, and then used it to outright rip off and rob the very public supporting them. Boot them out. Think about it. At least, when you bought the stuff you have to buy from them, you’d do it with a smile, instead of frowning with a sigh.

Good Reason to Live Here 

Egg Burger at Geneva Java Lake Geneva

So you want a scrambled egg and sausage burger? With very tiny link sausage from Wisconsin and fresh eggs? How about five bucks at the Geneva Java Coffee Shop on Broad Street? Wow!!!

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