Some people want to get their hands on Geneva Shore Reports a day early.
The paper is printed on Tuesday afternoons, and then distributed to 49 sites around the lake on Wednesdays between the hours of ten and noon. Henceforth, the paper will be now be available one day early, on Tuesday afternoons (after 3 pm) at the Geneva Java Coffee Shop. That’s the only way you can get an issue before Wednesday. Don’t come to the office on Sheridan Springs Road, as the staff there is usually missing some skin and hair at that in the day. The GSR is printed only after the hide, gristle and hair from that process has been removed, sanitized and then burned. The GSR remnants of zombie-like Eloi-founded humans are not the easiest to deal with until after happy hour.
Got some time on your hands?
How about sitting behind the wheel of your car? The summer is over, but they have not yet changed the traffic signals in Lake Geneva to denote that. Moving east and west on Main Street is a breeze, but if you are stopped at Center or Broad Streets (and hope to God you are not at Main’s intersection with Wrigley), then you are going to be there for quite some time. The powers that be will get around to fixing at some point in time. Your time. The wait for the next green light, following the last one, is now over two minutes. That doesn’t seem that long compared to the supposed longest red light in the U.S. (and, consequently for the green light it opposes) in Pasic, New York at five minute thirty-three seconds. The supposed longest light in the world is in Bangkok, Thailand at 10 minutes flat.
There are no known laws governing the timing of traffic lights, although there are guidelines for yellow lights (recommended currently at 3 seconds by the NTSB). Some people think that if you stop at a red light and nobody is coming, or there at all, that you may proceed safely through. That’s urban myth. Red lights means STOP, and you are supposed to stay stopped until it changes.
According to the City of Lake Geneva, this event is the largest single attractant of the entire year. Oktoberfest goes from eleven in the morning to eight in the evening on Saturday, October 7th, and from eleven to five on Sunday the 8th. Oktoberfest brings in vendors from all over the place, and provides live music in Flat Iron Park. German food will comprise the majority of food samplings. The turkey leg stand, always set up on the corner of Main and Broad always sells a dozen of those things, or so, to GSR staff. Free pumpkins will be given away to children, come one come all. Sprecher’s was so successful selling beer last year, that this year there will be two tents (that’s so the employees in one tent won’t know you are buying from the employees in the other tent. Magic shows, bouncy houses, local artisans and more will all be there. The apple cider donuts are to die for, absolutely. If you come for those alone you won’t be sorry. Just try to pack some up and take them home. You may make it home, but the donuts won’t.
Things were Heating Up