OPINION EDITORIAL
The Human Condition
Some year’s back (1988) a Bobby McFerrin song instantly went to the top of the charts. It was called “Don’t worry, be Happy.” The lyrics hit dead center into the solar plexus of the nation. 1988 was a time of worry. Among humans there was a generalized feeling that nothing was ever going to work out for the best. It was a time just like now, 2016. It was a time just like all times of every year, although the present year always seems like it is somehow a more important and urgent year.
Until next year, that is.
Why do humans worry so much, about everything, all the time?
I once had a friend call me and invite me to sit at a local coffee shop with him so he could tell me about his terribly pressing and deadly problems. He brought a yellow legal pad with him. The front page of the pad detailed ten items in his life that had no likely solution, and that might end my friend’s social, and even physical, survival. He was totally out of money. He believed his wife was seeing another man every Wednesday afternoon. His three-year-old had been diagnosed with a speech impediment. His boss was threatening to formally fire him, in writing, on the following Friday if he didn’t have a sale (he was a life insurance agent) by five p.m. of that day. Finally, he had had to walk the two miles to the coffee shop because his car would not start. I write the word “finally” because the other five troubles all had to do with the first five. My friend did not list his biggest problem, though, simply because it would never had occurred to him.
His biggest problem was the depth of his worry, and how that worry was communicating itself to everyone around him, thereby making it nearly impossible for him to get any help in dealing with his other problems.
Humans worry because of their high intellect. Lower animals are not known to experience worry, although elephants and some sea going mammals may end up disproving that. Intellect causes worry because intellect allows for prediction. Lower animals survive by reacting to external stimuli, not by predicting the potential for their next meal or the likelihood of a potential threat. Planning to survive in the future is a feature of a higher intellect. Some animals instinctively hoard food for the coming winter, and some hibernate to sleep away that same planetary condition. That’s genetic adaptation resulting from millions of years of surviving. Humans plan. However, while hoping that their plans will work out to some satisfaction, humans worry. The problem with this worry is that it infiltrates almost all aspects of everyday human life. Food and shelter were once the most worrisome areas of the human condition but soon they were replaced by the worry over money. With very few exceptions, money is the universal medium for trading all goods and services on the planet. Almost all human worries, even most concerns about health and family, can be reduced to money and are believed by practically everyone to be somehow more likely to be solved with more money.
My friend, with the ten problems written out carefully on his legal pad, did not meet with disappointment when he met with me that day. His biggest problem was actually his only ‘real’ problem, but it was the most difficult to for me help him with. The man his wife was seeing was I. She was worried about him so she was meeting with his best friend to try to understand him, and get help. His three-year-old had already qualified, unknown to him, to begin seeing a speech therapist to be paid for by the school. I bought a life insurance policy from him since I had been going to do that anyway. I loaned my friend two hundred dollars for walking around cash, and then I drove him home and got his car going (one battery terminal was corroded).
The two hundred dollars came back over time, along with satisfaction about the internal return of the life insurance policy I still own. Were my friend’s worries justified? Were there genuine threats to his continued existence or that of his family? In his opinion they were, but from a more objective perspective his worries were so minor as to be insignificant. Sometimes, in this physical world, it is not possible to ignore the things that come at us, whether of our own making or not. Perspective, however, is something humans can change. My friend could not change his perspective on his own. I changed it for him.
Sometimes it is necessary to turn to friends for support. It’s part of the reasons we have and value friends. A friend of mine, a top psychologist in L.A., answered a question I asked him about what he really did. His answer describes what I am writing about: “What I really do is charge two hundred and seventy-five dollars an hour to people who don’t have any friends who might help them
~~James Strauss
Great article — so true. It is very easy to get into a worry loop, especially about money.
So true Marilyn. Have we become a product of “the few”, controlling media and education, TELLING us what we are supposed to Have?
Rather than think for ourselves and decide what we need to be HAPPY
I learned from bitter experience that worrying/anxiety solves nothing. Preparation for possibilities is okay. But after that? Read a book. Take a nap. Knit a sock. Call your parents. Talk to a friend. Help someone less fortunate or more in need. This, too, shall pass. Great post!
Fantastic advice Anny
It is amazing how ‘changing’ a simple direction can change our attitudes.
You may have visited my Author site?
James Strauss Author has several short stories that focus of thinking in a different direction, especially those regarding children and animals
Especially love the Harvey stories. I’ll make sure I check it out!
Thanks again, Anny
Did you check out any of the audio Short stories, Anny?
“One of the greatest gifts you can give another human being who is going through adversity is hope.” ~ Shaka Senghor
Nice quote K.T.
Shaka Senghor has an interesting story by itself.
Maybe what we really need to do is to direct the person, going through adversity, to the POWER we all own.
No Hope, just DO?
Simplistic?
Hope is infinite. Without hope, they is often no DO. Taking a step with hope in our hearts, is not a burden. Without hope that step becomes difficult if not impossible. So do all things with hope and therein lies you’re power.
your…sorry, typo.
TYPO…what is that?
Those of of perfection ignore such ~~smile
We should all continue to Hope, but action must applied to effect the outcome.
Great Post…..I find that Helping Others, and making Them Happy, Helps Me…However, when you give MONEY to People who say that they will pay it back, be assured that, that rarely Happens…. When you let someone BORROW MONEY…..consider it a Gift, because you will probably Never see it again.,,,and, if you do….Then That is Your Gift !
….and Kay, it reminds us Money and Happiness are not truly connected.
Thanks for your comment!
Things we worry about rarely come to pass. Although sometimes it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since everything in the future has yet to occur, anything lean project onto it is something we make up in our mind. Why not make up good stuff and project that forward?
Making thing up is what we author types like to do, Rick …..
Even if the premise thread may be fact based.
By the way, I fixed the url you posted. Now people can follow your thoughts when they click on your name.
Congratulations on your wonderful journey.
A very close friend has been a “successful student” of Charles Haanel for 55 years.
and I appreciated his introducing me to The Master Key in 1970.
Many of my short stories (most of which are experienced based) are available for your reading and sharing pleasure.
Be sure to leave your words of wisdom in the comment sections.
James Strauss Author
Thank you for fixing the typo in my url. I fancied myself an author once, but never really pursued it. I’ll check out your site.
If you were, you are….
Aren’t you writing a blog in a consistent manner?
Richard…..
Remember we all need to remind ourselves and give credit to our accomplishment. I visited your BLOG.
I see it has readers, comments…
Ergo you are a writer with a following.
,
Sounds a bit ‘Pollyannish’, but life experiences has proved this to be true for me and several close associates:
“Spend time being concerned about thing which we can control”
Even farming, I would NOT worry about the weather, but rather plan and effect the best defenses against adverse conditions.
Do you worry Globally?
Worry Nationally?
Statewide?
That could be a waste of time (since we have NO control), but being concerned and acting upon LOCAL, FAMILY and PERSONAL issues can be within our direction.
Thoughts?
Thanks for your comment Chuck,
My example was relating to an individual and his concerns about personal issues.
And again having someone to LISTEN and empathize, plus being brave enough to offer valid solutions can be helpful.
Of course the “worrying person” has to be willing to apply a solution.
There is absolutely no point in worrying about those things over which we have no control. All it does is lead to stress which in turn causes ill health and more problems; believe me…I have been there. Oh and by the way, I love this song and expression and was pleased to see the video that goes with it as I had never seen it before.
Thanks for sharing the “truth”, Richard.
It was fun to listen to and watch Bobby’s YouTube video.
Glad you enjoyed it also.
Come back and share often.
Have you signed up for our weekly E-mail showing all posts?
Absolutely correct James.
As I wrote in a recent post, most people are petrified into a state of stupefaction at the thought of losing “stuff”. Jobs, things, houses, money, status.
It’s only when you have lost it all that you realise how unimportant all that stuff is in the grand design of life.
We choose whether to worry or be happy. We don’t need things to make us do either, just the ability to recognise that fact and make the right choices.
Great sentiments spoken by a person who has “walked the walked” . I suggest our readers also subscribe to Peter Wright’s Blog.
He is an example how being happy may be the answers to your worrisome life.
Thanks for your contribution, Peter
Thanks to Chuck Bartok for sharing your article and it was an interesting read.
I find that for all of our resources both online and offline, it very difficult for people to ask for help, in part because we’re almost conditioned not to ask for help.
I find that both genders are expected to be tough, strong ( “only a real man would ask for help” is still said by many men and women are now expected to be the tough feminist) as well as being self reliant.
I think that we need to learn the important life skill of asking for help from friends/family or even an outreach venue because the benefits outweigh the original discomfort.
I have to be honest and say I have no idea how that might happen and would be interested in seeing how that might happen?
Glad you found us Diane,
It is amazing how society has pressured, through media, humanity to ACT somewhat against Natural Law.
ASKIN for Help and responding to those pleas is a innate human trait.
Is it possible if those natural traits are subdued, power can then rest in the hands of a few?
WE do have the power to individually make a difference.
Just need commitment!
So glad you made it Diane.
First I need to ASK you if you signed up for the Updates.
The editorial weekly are worth the time and energy and are always thought provoking.
Even though I may not always agree with all premises.
I appreciate your focusing on the ASKING topic.
You ASKED your friends for understanding while you were going through your health challenges.
If you would NOT have shared your condition, those who enjoy the “lnternet” connection of friendship would not have know the circumstances.
Looking forward to seeing you here on the Geneva Shore Report Editorial section more often.
And “Don’t Worry” ~~smile
For anyone who professes a faith, worry is antithetical to that faith. Since we are human, and are here for the short term, we will eventually worry, which, if not placed in perspective as situational rather than a fundamental flaw, will cause us to doubt our faith. Troublesome. The point is to get to the point where we can embrace both our faith in things beyond mortality, and our doubts/worry as ours, but only temporary. In times of stress, admit we are worried, but make a choice to dwell on the faith that God will either calm the storm or calm us, and in any case, create for us growth and strength from the experience of the storm.
Interesting journey into FAITH and thanks for your comment, Mark.
Faith seems to something that has diminished over the years. Does man worry more easily, and thus more susceptible to subjugation,
when FAITH is absent or latent?
Again we appreciate your input.
we worry more because we perceive we have more control and choice. 200+ years ago, let alone 1000 years ago, the common man did not feel he had control, and so accepted station and circumstance, and thus had less worry — he would not worry over what he could not change. Now, the common (western and modern Asian societies) perceives he can make changes, rise to another level, manage weather, etc., so we worry over these things.
Interesting perspective, Mark.
I wonder if the false narrative that man CAN change so many things, is the root.
MAN has not gained super power of the past 1,000 years to affect that change, unless we consider the ability to annihilate the species.
If man would focus on that which he CAN change, personally and locally, would he have less worry?
yes. less worry, greater sense of accomplishment…leading to greater willingness and ability to effect good.