Uber Alles:

The tales of the Geneva Shore Report Uber driver.

It was a cold drizzly night last Saturday, with the rain changing to snow and making the roads very slippery. I arrived at the pickup location for my Uber ride and heard laughter coming from a group of ladies.  I put my window down and saw four people running and racing towards my car.  Two women got to the car first. One tried to stop and slid into the side of the car. She hit the passenger mirror hard before she slid. She yelled and then moaned a bit as she massaged her chest in the back seat. The other two people proved to be a man and a woman. They all crowded into the back seat. They all laughed hysterically at the woman who’d bumped her breast. After they got settled in the car (the guy sat in front) and the laughter died down, one of the women said “OK OK, tell us your best Uber story! I started explaining in my Australian accent “Well, there was this one time where this group of girls came racing toward my car in the snow and slid right into the side of it with one of them smashing her boob into my passenger mirror.” They all stopped me just before I finished, yelling, “Oh my God! He’s Australian! He’s Australian!” They asked me to say some other things so I went on a bit. When I was done they were overjoyed with the accent and the fact that I’d used their story as my best Uber story. I finally told them I was American but could do a great Australian accent. They would not believe me. They thought my American accent was a put on.   When they got out the man ended up being irritated and telling them, “Shut up! He’s not Australian!!” Thank God one of the women was paying because I ended up getting a 5-star rating and a great “rider feedback comment!”